Guest Writer Monday - Brandon AKA DJSowTheLand Returns - The Beast Inside Us All...

Man, I am really excited!  You guys really came through for Brandon and I see writing this and hearing your feedback is already helping him.  Brandon has given me another great post to relay to you.  This one goes deep.  Let me know what you think in the comments section.

Have you ever thought that it’s easier to work on someone other than yourself? Let’s just be honest, working on yourself is no fun. We tend to avoid working on ourselves and focus on the people that are around us.

Why?

I think, for me, the worst part is getting to know the real me! Being in jail prevents me from running from myself. I can’t numb the old feelings that swim around in my soul with drugs and alcohol. I can’t escape from my thoughts, my past failures, and my dreams!

I’m stuck with me and I’m now faced to look at the man staring back in the mirror. Looking in the mirror, I look on the inside and begin to see: Pride, Drunkenness, Jealousy, Envy, Impure Thoughts, Anger, Bitterness, Selfishness and a heart that is cold sometimes.

These things I’ve listed are my Beast. What are the things that make up your Beast? It may be a long list or it may not. All the list is for, is getting to know the Beast inside you.

I remember reading a book in my childhood called “Where the Wild Things Are”. As I discover more about myself, I begin to wonder if I belong where the wild things are... I know that in me the Beast has been in control.

Can I tell you?

The Beast within can only be caged for so long! To rid myself of the beast I’ve tried many different things. I’ve tried secular rehabs, spiritual rehabs, psychiatrists and the medications they recommend. Yet the Beast always returns...

I face the Beast every day! How do you fight what has become you? Can I be honest with you? I both LOVE and HATE the Beast. Yes, I said LOVE. This is why it is a continuous battle. The Beast has me thinking he can’t be tamed.

Soon he controls all of me, consuming every thought and emotion. I’ve been told how to kill the Beast by other people, but do I really want to!? I’ve been told that Suicide is the way.....

No one wants to die to themselves, but is that the antidote?
— Brandon AKA DJSowTheLand

Okay, I'm back now.  Yeah, I know what you're thinking guys that last part seemed really ominous and deeply disturbing.  If you stop and think about it though, he is not wrong.  That is the pill some people sell.  What do we say when someone commits suicide?  "Well, at least they aren't suffering anymore" or something along those lines.  

We all need to really put in more effort to help people.  Brandon is a shining example of what depression looks like.  We have family who doesn't understand us, so we seek love elsewhere.  That group of friend's love turns in to conditional comradery.  You can be loved IF.  We will hang out IF.  You can come over IF.  

Brandon became a part of his surroundings and he now struggles with the after effects.  A path we all could have been down if we grew up in his shoes.  No?  Don't you think so?  I think we should all give that some thought.  

If you are interested in joining our rag-tag crew of volunteers helping these inmates please reach out to me in the comments or send me a contact request.  Also, be sure to leave a comment and like this post if you want Brandon to keep on posting.  

P.S. Just so you know, Brandon is doing just fine.  I saw him around 1:30 PM on 10/10/16.  He was just writing what he was thinking at the time.  Which he has always done, but now he is getting to share it with an audience.

Martin J Glennon